I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
