"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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