she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
