If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
