the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
