dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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