I just cut my nipple shaving
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
