My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
