Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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