I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
