She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
