I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize