There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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