this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
