I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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