oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
