For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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