Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I am mentally ready for anal.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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