I molested 6 butterflies tonight
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
