we have officially lost it.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Randomize
