She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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