It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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