Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
