She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
