It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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