he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
