Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
