I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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