Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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