He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
