Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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