after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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