woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
