So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
