C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
