I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Everclear isn't food dammit
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
