So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
do herpes really smell.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
