direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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