I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
