take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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