I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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