I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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