you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
