I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
