I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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