She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
