So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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