I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
