last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
