I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
