And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
