i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
