brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
