Everything about him screamed your future.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
